


I'm not doing the washing tonight

by whatthefudgever



Series: Jelix hell [1]
Category: Jelix - Fandom, Video Blogging RPF, septicpie - Fandom
Genre: Baking, Based on a Tumblr Post, Domestic Fluff, Felix is a lil shit but what else is new, Jack deserves a break, Kissing, M/M, No Sex, Rated M because I don't want children to read, Sexual Tension, just these two nerds attempting to make a cake, warning for messy kitchen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-12-15
Updated: 2016-12-15
Packaged: 2018-09-08 16:19:17
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,572
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8851699
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/whatthefudgever/pseuds/whatthefudgever
Summary: The one fic where two grown ups tries to make a cake. 
Emphasis on the word tries.





	

**Author's Note:**

> There is some serious lack of Jelix fanfics so I decided to fix that by contributing with this crap. 
> 
> Based on this headcanon made by Kissmefelix.tumblr.com (http://kissmefelix.tumblr.com/post/154383198230/what-would-jelix-baking-a-cake-together-be-like) 
> 
> Not beta'd, so sorry for the errors! :D
> 
> Help me I'm trash for this ship.

“You can't put flour in yet! What, are you stupid?” Felix's hands were on his hips, his left eyebrow high up on his forehead. His nose wrinkled when he did that, Jack mused silently, and had the Swede not just insulted him Jack might've actually kissed him to shut him up.

 

Not that it usually matters whether Felix throws those insults at him or not, since Jack himself is quite eager most of the time to say something nasty in return. Or shut him up with kisses. Kisses seemed to be most efficient when it came to shutting Felix up.

 

No, it usually doesn't matter, but when Felix starts accusing him of not knowing how to bake a fucking cake – a fucking _cake_ come on Felix it's like the only thing he knows how to bake-, the blond little shit will have to go without his kisses for the remaining day. Doesn't matter how needy he becomes, how much he begs for a peck or two (although Jack would be lying if he said that picturing Felix begging for once didn't make his skin tingle in the most pleasing way possible.), he won't be getting anything that's even remotely similar to a kiss.

 

“I'm pretty sure that I can put in the flour before I whisk the egg and milk together, Fe. It's what I've always done.” Jack says and reaches for the pantry. “Freestyle and all that. No need to follow the recipe.”

 

Jack could hear Felix loud groan from across the kitchen isle. “Ohmygod, how have you not blown up the flat yet? Jack, _älskling,_ the recipe is there for a reason. Also, I've made a whole lot of cakes in my time even before you were born, let me tell you!”

 

“What, Fe, you're one year older than me. I hardly consider that to be true.” Honestly, Felix was a little shit, but his cakes with strawberry fillings were disgustingly good -what did he call it? _Midsommartårta_?-, Jack didn't doubt for a second that Felix was a good confectioner, but he'd rather eat 10 habanero without any milk before he ever commit to admitting that to Felix. He doesn't need Jack to feed him all that egotistic crap that all goes up to his head- he manage that all good and well on his own-. His ego is big enough as it is.

 

A scoff, then laughter. “Come on Jack, we both know who's-”

 

“More mature? Charitable-”

 

“I'm damn charitable fuck you-”

 

“Got a better haircut? A better sense of style? Who's better at mortal combat?”

 

A groan. "That was one time, why do you always keep bringing that up?"

 

Jack shrugged casually. "Because I know how much it bothers you that I won and you lost. _I_ , who had never ever played mortal combat mind you, beat _you,_ who claimed to be the master of it."

 

Now Felix was pouting, and if that wasn't the most disgustingly, cutest thing on the entire planet then Jack didn't know what was. Maybe Edgar. Edgar was close to coming first place. “Honestly Jack, go take that Irish ass somewhere out of my sight and go fuck yourself.”

 

No, Felix was definitely the cutest. So easy to tease, so easily salty. "Awe, but you love this Irish ass." Jack snickers and blows Felix a kiss before he brings all the gathered ingredients to the isle. He sees Felix giving him the finger before he's turning around to put on the oven.

 

Yeah, he might love him to death and back, but there's no way in hell Jack will ever admit that he prefers Felix's cooking before his own.

 

“And for your information, my sense of style is _way_ more classier than yours!”

 

-X-

 

How on earth Felix could make delicious pastries and cakes without setting fire to the kitchen, Jack honestly didn't know. Because not even 15 minutes in to the actual baking, Felix had already managed to set off the fire alarm not only once, but twice - _twice!_ -, and Jack was beginning to question whether Felix actually knew how to bake at all.

 

Either way Jack had brought out the fire extinguisher and placed it within a 5 meters radius away from the oven. You know, just in case.

 

“Felix, for gods sake close the oven!”

 

And Felix was afraid Jack would set fire to the flat. At this rate it would be burned to the ground before Jack even had a chance to tell him 'I told you so!'.

 

Felix, in apparently no panic at all – honestly what the fuck Felix just close the goddamn oven- was gently beating the eggs and butter in a bowl, but did as he was told and closed the oven without any fuss or arguments before he proceeds to pour milk into the mixture, whistling softly as he did.

 

“I thought you were supposed to be good at baking?!” Jack holler and he's leaning against the fridge, his arms crossed over his chest and Felix turns to look at him.

 

“Better than your mama.”

 

He's grinning.

 

That fucker is grinning.

 

Jack wanted nothing else than to throw the bag of flour at him and ruin that perfect smirk on his lips.

 

So he does.

 

Quickly he reaches for the bag of white flour across the counter and before Felix can even register what's happening he is already covered in white. His hands slips and he drops the bowl with its content down on the floor, creating an even bigger mess. His eyes -so _fucking_ blue, jack thinks- blinks stupidly. His hair is similar to the one and only Albert Einstein and his sweater is more white than pink and Jack cannot hold in his laughter as he double over on the floor, clutching his stomach as he wheezes for air .

 

Meanwhile Felix, stunned into silence, looks down on his ruined clothes and shakes his head to rid of the excess flour in his hair. Jack notice him grimacing when a small amount of it travels down his neck and under the sweater. He starts laughing again.

 

Honestly, Jack should've expected the icing to come dropping down on his head before this whole ordeal even started – because Felix is predictable like that it's almost ridiculous-, but he doesn't realize this before Felix is already on top of him, his knees on both side across his waist, with a jar filled with icing that he scoops up with his hand to smear across Jack's hair.

 

“You little Irish shit ruined my hair!” He barks, but Jack can see the reappearing smirk on his lips and he makes an effort to reach up and smear some of the excess icing across Felix's stupid face.

 

Felix leans back, seating himself on Jacks lower stomach with a safe enough distant from his smudgy hands, before he almost effortlessly grabs hold of both of Jack's wrists and pins him to the floor. “You're ruining my hair!” Jack barks back eventually, still laughing and struggling to free himself whilst leaning up towards his boyfriend. He'd be damned before he let Felix get the upper hand like this.

 

The swede laughs -damn is Jack weak for that laughter- and goes to scoops up the remaining icing in the jar, only to fall flat on his back with a startled yelp, his jar of icing rolling down and away from his reach as Jack is now straddling his hips- both of his feet pinning down the other man's arms- and shooting him the most complacent look he can manage.

 

Not wasting a single second, Jack combs through his own hair with his fingers to gather up the majority of the sticky icing in his hand, only to smile smugly as he lay his said hand flat down on Felix's chest, giggling softly as he notices the utter look of disgust crossing his boyfriends face.

 

“Whoops. Looks like you're in a bit of a sticky situation there babe.” Jack says, and enjoys every shiver he can inflict on Felix by massaging the substance across his chest and up towards the neck. Felix squirms under him, wiggling and swearing colourfully in both English and Swedish, but Jack only laughs, letting his hands travel up to Felix's chin and cheeks. If it's one thing he knows Felix hates it's when something tacky is smeared across his skin, and Jack absolutely adores the way his entire body freezes up as he does just that.

 

“I hate you.” Felix whispers through gritted teeth, and Jack purposefully traces his hand across Felix's lips, just because he can, and also because it shuts Felix up just as efficient as his kisses does.

 

“Oh, I'm _sure_ you do.” He snickers, basking at the wonderful thought of knowing that he won this round, and eases the pressure he'd put on his legs to keep Felix's arms pinned to the floor. “Which is why I am your boyfriend.”

 

Hands free, Felix makes an attempt to rid his face of the sickly sweet smeared across his cheeks. “Well obviously I am messed up in the head.” He concedes, grimacing.

 

“Obviously.”

 

“And you ruined my clothes.”

 

“It's not like you're one to talk, you little shit.” he barks, no real malice behind the words.”I call not doing the washing tonight. ”

 

Felix hums. “Or...” He prolong the word, rolling of the 'r' on his tongue, eyeing Jack with a completely different kind of stare than before. Like a predator spotting its pray. It makes Jack want to kiss him. Kiss him or hide. Either way it makes his stomach turn into butterflies, his brain into mush, and before he knows it he's on his back again with Felix nothing more than mere inches away from his face – inches from his lips and dammit Jack is so weak all of a sudden as he keels to the quiver of his body and the way his heart flutters in his chest.“We could just take these-” Jack can feel him tugging at his t-shirt. “Off. As you said, they need to be washed either way.”

 

Damn Felix and his Swedish charms.

 

"Oh?" He quirks a brow, feigning ignorance, because he still has some of his dignity left dammit. (Not really, no. That dignity flew out the window the moment he threw that damn bag of flour at Felix.) "And here I thought you were mad at me for ruining your perfect hair."

 

A smile, and had Jack not known Felix's intentions or the meaning behind that smile then it would've looked innocent. "Yeah?" Alas, nothing with this man is ever innocent. Especially not when Felix is purposefully neglecting the way Jack's breath is caught in his throat when he leans forward just taunt him with his lips so tantalizingly close to his own. "Well what if I said that I liked it when you ruin it?"

 

“Well then I'd question logic and everything I thought was real. Pewdiepie not caring about his hair? It's 2012 all over again.” He gives Felix his most dead-panned expression that he can manage in his current situation, trying not to lean up, and failing, when Felix raises his head to scoff down at him.

 

“Shut up, that movie was great.” Jack strongly disagrees. It was a horrible movie with explosions that Micheal Bay probably looked up whenever he needed a good laugh and a motivational boost. “And also fuck you, I'm trying to be sexy here. Stop ruining the moment.”

 

Jack can't help but giggle at that. Count on Felix to be blunt. “Oh? There's a moment? I'm sorry Fe, I don't really feel it. Maybe you're finally loosing it?”

 

“Nah, man. I'm quite-” Jack gasps when he feels Felix shift his left leg to press against his crotch, quickly halting his breathing and kicking his heart into overdrive and fuck him that's so unfair and cruel and Felix looks so goddamn proud of himself Jack has this strong urge to kick him in his perfectly sculptured jaw. “ I'm quite certain that I'm not the only one feeling it.” Felix snickers, and dammit Jack is oh so tempted to go back on his words he made earlier today and kiss this Swedish idiot absolutely _senseless_.

 

Felix only smirks, applying pressure to Jack's growing hard-on to still him as he tries to wiggle free. “You're too smug for your own good, you know that?” Jack breathes, surpassing a groan when Felix decides to lean down again to rub himself against Jack's thigh. He can feel Felix through his jeans, half-hard and hot, and their mouths are so fucking close Jack can literally taste the icing coating Felix's lips – can feel how warm his breath is against his mouth and he licks his lips in anticipation-.

 

“Well then, _Seán_ , why don't you shut me up?” Felix purrs, _fucking purrs_ , and Jack is quick to lean up and catch his lips to kiss away that arrogant smirk of his and finally- finally- taste that sweetness to his boyfriends breath that's been driving him insane for the passed five minutes.

 

Felix melts against him, his mouth quirks at the corners and he tilts his head to further deepen the kiss. Jack voices no objections, his hands coming up to cup Felix's cheeks and he opens his mouth to lick, to taste and bite the other's lips because fuck it he is so weak and he can't get enough of the taste of Felix- can't stand not to have his tongue ravishing his mouth-, can't get enough of the warmth that Felix provides him or the way that he sends shivers down Jacks entire body by raking his fingers through his hair.

 

Fuck, he loves this idiot so fucking much.

 

He can feel Felix's hands running along his sides, halting, tugging his shirt up and then Jack is groaning into Felix's mouth as those slender fingers traces their way up on his bare stomach. He arches his back, buckling up against his lover- aching and eager for more- and he lets his own hands travel further up to bury themselves in Felix's hair. He tugs gently, presses up against him, and the kiss breaks only for Felix to moan brokenly into the open. Fuck he's so hot fuck fuck-

 

“Jack?” And Jack exhales, meeting hazed blue eyes blown wide by obvious desire and hair a tousled mess like he'd just had the best fuck of his life.

 

Fuck, he's so _beautiful_ -

 

"Weren't we supposed to be making a cake?"

 

Jack blinks, once, twice.

 

And just like that, the moment is over. ”You are seriously not asking me that right  _now_ .” Jack shouldn't be surprised. Honestly, he shouldn't be, but he is, and he doesn't know if he's mad about Felix ignoring the obvious hard-on they both acquired through all their rutting against each other that they did, or the fact that he's being cockblocked by a fucking cake. 

 

”I thought you loved cake?” Why does he get to sound so innocent when they'd just played hockey with their tonsils, it's not fair. 

 

Jack groans loudly, because yeah, he does love cakes. Everyone who knows Jacksepticeye knows that he loves cakes. But- 

 

”I love you a whole lot more than cake you fucking idiot.” 

 

He kisses Felix before he can see the smug smirk on his lips, but the jokes are on him because he can still feel the infuriating curve of Felix's mouth against his own.

 

**Author's Note:**

> Translations: 
> 
> Älskling - Darling/Love. Used as a term of endearment.  
> Midsommartårta - Midsummer cake. Something we here in Sweden makes every year on the summer solstice.
> 
> My friend Skay6 on tumblr left me this wonderful review; _It was hilarious, i'd call it cakeblocked *wink wink*_
> 
>  


End file.
